Mentoring & Coaching, Mentoring or Coaching, Mentoring vs. Coaching

I was talking with one of my clients today about mentoring and coaching. What I know to be true is that mentoring should be a time-limited, extremely professional WORKING relationship wherein the mentor guides, advises, and introduces the mentee in the ways of their world.

Oftentimes what happens in these relationships is that the mentee starts doing work for the mentor so it is critical that this relationship is time-limited because the mentee has to be pushed out of the next before resentment sets in.

Coaches are not mentors because their working relationship isn't necessarily time limited and the focus is on the client's entire life, not simply introductions and best practices for a particular career. Of course coaches and clients don't share workloads either so there's not the challenge of resentment.
Here is a wonderful summary of the amazing benefits of coaching.
And:
Here is a wonderful summary of the amazing benefits of mentoring.
Enjoy.

Building Self-Confidence: Distinguishing between Success and Fulfillment

Building Self-Confidence: Distinguishing between Success and Fulfillment


As a professional coach, I am privileged to work with many clients from various walks of life, with differing skills and experiences.

What they all have in common is the presenting issue:

“I want a new path, new skills, new direction for my life or my career, I feel my success is slipping, I would like someone to help me sort it all out with me so I can be more fulfilled”.

This is the typical statement my clients bring to me when they begin coaching.

Sometimes this deep desire for fulfillment doesn't 'show up' at first. It is more like:

“Can you help me? I want to learn this new skill, change careers, work on my relationship with my family, make a change in my lifestyle, and move. I am seeking success so I can feel fulfilled.”

Underneath these desires is the desire to build or rebuild self-confidence so that they have the courage to find fulfillment.

What happens next is fascinating. We build a plan based on a combination of action and this deeper need for fulfillment.

Most often we start with the 'Wheel of Life' a tool that measures fulfillment in various areas of life-career, relationship, and personal growth, among other things. Once we see the results we can understand a whole life measured by degree of satisfaction in each area. It is a snapshot taken in the present moment and gives us a direction for the work. What happens next is fascinating. We build a plan based on a combination of action and values.

As we work to connect or re-connect to self-confidence, shifts take place for my clients and life moves forward toward fulfillment. Most people think fulfillment emerges from successes. What I know to be true is success emerges from fulfillment.

Here are some self-coaching questions for you to consider when you are seeking success!

• What does success mean to you?
• Do you consider yourself successful?
• How do you know you’re successful? What measures are you using?
• How about fulfilled? Have your successes fulfilled you?
• What would you uncover if you applied success & fulfillment in different categories -- family, work, career, retirement, and relationship? Does each category have a different degree of success?
• Is there something you would like to do to increase your successes and fulfillment?
• What would you need to let go of to improve?
• If you have chased successes that now seem unimportant, can you let them go?
• Overall, are you satisfied with what you discover?
• Do you have any unfulfilled dreams? Can you follow them now and see if they become successes for you?
• What if you were seeking to be fulfilled? How would the answers to these questions change for you?

If you want to explore the questions of Success & Fulfillment further. Click here and access the Confidence Connections Wheel of Life and reconnect to your most confident self.

Workplace Bullying: Hard Times Make Defending Harder

Here is a brief case study of the impact of our current economic circumstances on our perspective and therefore our confidence.

Situations:

Just this past week I received 2 'emergency' calls and 2 inquiries from people who were having trouble with office bullies. The callers were struggling because things seem different now.

They said, in the past they tolerated an office bully situation because they believed they had an escape value: taking another job. But NOW they felt totally trapped because 'there are no jobs out there'. Feeling trapped removed whatever coping mechanisms they had in place.

Action:

1. Become aware of the source of your feelings. In this case the shift from the ability to change jobs to feeling trapped.

2. Evaluate your options.

My guidance included reviewing options by using my Confidence Connections Perspective Wheel. Very quickly 8-10 viable options emerged. Everything from continuing to do nothing to quitting or retiring to filing a complaint or holding a public confrontation or doing absolutely nothing for 48 hours was on the table. This may seem obvious in retrospect but, when one feels trapped, oh boy, watch out, things get dark very quickly. Within one session more options than they had ever considered suddenly became possibilities.

Results:

Once the callers could see the plethora of options, we could get down to work to develop a uniquely crafted response to the situation using a set of questions to help focus thoughts and actions. Each caller answered the 5 important questions to using my Confidence Connections Focus Tool focus their actions. Each took action and within 48 hours and each situation showed some improvement. For some callers the path to slaying the bully is a long one of introspection and action but what I know to be true is that once a path is chosen, action happens and positive change takes place.

Summary:

What was learned? Waiting until we're trapped before we learn how to respond to a difficult situation is the hard way to live. Once we feel trapped we lose our power and have a hard time uncovering our options. Talking through the situation with a professional coach can open up more opportunities and options. Once we manage the fear and focus attention on a well-conceived action plan, it is completely possible to take charge of the situation and win the day. Likely the bullies will still behave like bullies but the targets will behave differently with their new skills.

Building a Private Practice:
How Much Should You Charge for Your Services?

All of my clients come to me with the $ question. How much should I charge?

A Recent Harvard Business Review report noted coaching fees range from around 100 bucks to over 3K for a session. That’s quite a range. How do you figure out your sweet spot-the place your clients are willing to pay for your services? Ah, this is not a simple question, nor a simply answered question. But here’s what I know:

• You can’t charge more than you can comfortably ask because your discomfort will show through and hurt your credibility
• Your mindset influences your ability to set fees, therefore, as your confidence grows, so will your fees
• You have to determine if you’re a commodity service or a professional service: we bargain for commodities, we respect professionals
• Consider Packaging your Services: Many in private practice charge by the hours per month. But that’s not the only way to make a living
• Develop different income streams to increase your revenues
• Pay attention to your ‘league’. Are you in the majors, minors or varsity league? Plan out what it will take to move up, if you want to.
• Align yourself with bigger league players and practice, practice, practice. Even if you’re on the bench for a while, you’re hanging with the home run set and that increases your credibility.
• Work your skills and talents: All you do should be based on, please, your unique abilities, not other people’s pre-written seminars or models. It’s very difficult to be credible as a trainer IF you haven’t developed your own materials.
• Develop your unique skills: Coaching and training models can and should be adapted to suit the needs of your clients and the strengths you bring to the work. Your creative adaptations will make you uniquely qualified to serve your clients and charge your worth

Focus on the Cornerstones of Confidence

Trust Yourself
Learn About Yourself
Build Emotional Support for Yourself
Focus on Your Productivity

For a complete report on the Cornerstones of Confidence click here: http://www.salterva.com/kathleen/JVGiftCornerstones.html

Job Searches: Times Change

Are you using social networks to find employment?
If not, you're missing an important tool. One of my clients was found through LinkedIn when his profile matched an employer's needs. the employer sought him out and the match was perfect.

Here are some important ways to use social networks to build your confidence connections:

• your photo
• a strong and accurate bio/resume/description of you and your background
• having others post recommendations on your LinkedIn page
• joining groups with people who would be of assistance to you
• participating in group discussions so you become known and can demonstrate your expertise
• establish connections to 'connectors' (those extroverts who get around and seem to know everyone)
• add connections to those in your industry
• don't forget connections to friends and family who will learn more about you and what you do from that bio you wrote
• sharing your connections with others

For more info on social networking and other job search tips, click on the title of this article and read a recent newspaper article on this subject.

Managing your Professional Image

Click the link in the title of this article and help yourself to some good tips on maintaining your professional image when using social networking tools. Perhaps you'll know everything in this and it will serve as a reminder. But, from what I have seen much of this isn't applied. Enjoy.

Examiner.com Social Media Marketing to build Confidence Connections

Here's a Great way to build your confidence connections to social media marketing.

The title of this blog is a link to an interesting article on using Social Medial Marketing. 

This article was posted on Examiner.com. 

Examiner.com is a hosting site for vetted professionals wishing to share their expertise with like-minded individuals. I am a contributing editor to this website and can testify to the high quality of my colleagues. I recommend a subscription because, justlike earticle.com you don't have to sign up for someone's news to access this information.