Building Self-Confidence: Distinguishing between Success and Fulfillment

Building Self-Confidence: Distinguishing between Success and Fulfillment


As a professional coach, I am privileged to work with many clients from various walks of life, with differing skills and experiences.

What they all have in common is the presenting issue:

“I want a new path, new skills, new direction for my life or my career, I feel my success is slipping, I would like someone to help me sort it all out with me so I can be more fulfilled”.

This is the typical statement my clients bring to me when they begin coaching.

Sometimes this deep desire for fulfillment doesn't 'show up' at first. It is more like:

“Can you help me? I want to learn this new skill, change careers, work on my relationship with my family, make a change in my lifestyle, and move. I am seeking success so I can feel fulfilled.”

Underneath these desires is the desire to build or rebuild self-confidence so that they have the courage to find fulfillment.

What happens next is fascinating. We build a plan based on a combination of action and this deeper need for fulfillment.

Most often we start with the 'Wheel of Life' a tool that measures fulfillment in various areas of life-career, relationship, and personal growth, among other things. Once we see the results we can understand a whole life measured by degree of satisfaction in each area. It is a snapshot taken in the present moment and gives us a direction for the work. What happens next is fascinating. We build a plan based on a combination of action and values.

As we work to connect or re-connect to self-confidence, shifts take place for my clients and life moves forward toward fulfillment. Most people think fulfillment emerges from successes. What I know to be true is success emerges from fulfillment.

Here are some self-coaching questions for you to consider when you are seeking success!

• What does success mean to you?
• Do you consider yourself successful?
• How do you know you’re successful? What measures are you using?
• How about fulfilled? Have your successes fulfilled you?
• What would you uncover if you applied success & fulfillment in different categories -- family, work, career, retirement, and relationship? Does each category have a different degree of success?
• Is there something you would like to do to increase your successes and fulfillment?
• What would you need to let go of to improve?
• If you have chased successes that now seem unimportant, can you let them go?
• Overall, are you satisfied with what you discover?
• Do you have any unfulfilled dreams? Can you follow them now and see if they become successes for you?
• What if you were seeking to be fulfilled? How would the answers to these questions change for you?

If you want to explore the questions of Success & Fulfillment further. Click here and access the Confidence Connections Wheel of Life and reconnect to your most confident self.